You know that for a long time Jillian Michaels was my trainer, well Bob was the co trainer on the same Biggest Loser program.
Well I played this “book” and he really got me to think and think about loads of stuff. Bob has a way with words and his discretion of finding your inner compass helped me to find out the following.
Last year this time I was 118 kg’s and had just had a failure of note being the Comrades Marathon run, I didn’t really think about it much, you know it was just something that happened that was beyond my control. I gave it my all but it didn’t work out for me and I failed to complete the course, this trend followed me to the next run at the Ithala Game Reserve a few months later.
After listening to Bob I realised something I had began to hate myself for the failure and had become self destructive, I have put on loads of weight again, I am miserable and unhappy, why did I do this ?
Since Comrades things have gone backwards and any excuse not to train came up like my running partner bailing on me, like too busy with work, or too busy with an online game and finally the car accident I was involved in where I hurt my neck. So what is the problem do I fear another failure but you know by doing this I am failing.
Bob really made me think about this and asked me to think of one thing about myself I liked, you know I battled to find something, after much thought over the matter I think I know that one thing and that is the drive I put into finishing that 211 km run last year.
So anyway good news is Bob has relit the fire and I am rearing to go.
Out comes madam Michaels and I sweated out to a last chance workout. I really suffered even though this one was one that I could do with a certain amount of ease a few months ago. Hooboy I am in trouble...Bring it on Jillian !!!
I will beat this, I will be strong and I will maintain my weight loss, I will again become proud of myself
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